oddly shaped emptiness mapped by what surrounded them

Lately I've been caught between obsessively journaling and analyzing all my teen experiences while simultaneously trying really hard to not take myself too seriously. I'm attempting to maintain a healthy middle ground between what I'm feeling and what outside forces tell me about what I'm feeling. On one hand Morrissey is pushing me to reflect on myself and mope, while my parents ever-logically tell me that I'm "just a teenager" and that "everybody has a rough time in high school". But the difficulty to see yourself with the clarity born of distance while you're experiencing strong emotions for the very first time is often underestimated. I'm guilty of this crime, even though I'm fully aware of its consequences. I often have to remind myself how I felt when I was little and was the only girl in my class without a cell phone before I yell at my brother for complaining about not getting the new PS4 (or whatever the new gadget thingy is these days). It's important to be balanced and thoughtful of these things.
Teenage bedrooms are a sort of reflection of this struggle in a teen. The bedroom is an effort at once to define oneself while still maintaining some remnants of past personalities, phases, and obsessions. The Virgin Suicides is a prime example of this:

The bra on the cross shows the burgeoning adolescence and sexuality of these girls, which is still bound by the rules and marking events of their upbringing. Of course, this is obviously a carefully conceived and thought-out composition. But even in my bedroom, I see examples of this same idea. My baby pictures sit beside printed images of Harry Styles which are covered in part by my posters of punk rock icons. Growing up all shown on the walls of a bedroom. I love it.

california dreamin' on such a winter's day

It's a known fact that winters in LA aren't what most people would even consider "winter", but the weather slowly dropping from an average of 80 degrees to a freezing 60 is NOT OKAY. Because like, what's a jacket? What are pants??? Rain??!!? This outfit is me trying to keep the summer spirit alive by wearing clothes that do not in any way provide protection from the elements.

LF denim jacket, Madewell dress

Lucky Brand necklace

Shoes from some random boutique in Buenos Aires

where livin' is easy

I spent the last few days in the city of Palm Springs, basically the Boca equivalent of California. The scorching heat and the scores of middle aged tourists don't exactly make for an exciting vacation, but it was nice to get away for a while and chill by the beautiful hotel pool with friends.

The 100+ degree weather wasn't exactly ideal for planning out cute outfits, but the tropical vibes inspired me to dress very colorfully and cutesy. Here's one outfit that was halfway decent and didn't involve exposed bikini straps and oversized tank tops. I've been wearing these boxer shorts as PJs for around 2 years now, but seeing as I'm a HUGE fan of the tropical trend this season, I was like, why not wear it out irl??!? And so I did, and this happened. Enjoy.

I'm wearing my friend's blue halter top, Kevingston men's boxer shorts, Lucky Brand necklace, and sunglasses from the flea market, along with my jelly sandals which aren't pictured here.

My apologies for not having a really clear picture of my outfit this time around! The entire vacation I was more concerned with not burning my face off than taking outfit pictures.

viva la childhood

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, which is pretty scary considering that everybody around me expects me to have everything planned out. I can't even kill a spider and people expect me to know what I'm going to do for the rest of my existence?! To me, I'm still that same little girl who was in awe of all the cool high school kids, but now that I am one it doesn't make any sense. Weren't the teenagers taller when I was in elementary school? Weren't they better-looking? I surely can't be one of them! I feel like I've been violently shoved into pre-adulthood, without any real knowledge of what I'm supposed to do apart from what I've learned from anxiously asking Google "how do I get into college". I would much rather be back in the 4th grade when my biggest worry was if Troy and Gabriella would get back together or not. With this outfit I'm throwing it way back to those days. I've discovered that I actually quite enjoy dressing like a toddler.

I'm wearing overalls from Zara, American Apparel socks, Forever 21 cardigan, and a thrifted top

These are my new Juju babe jelly sandals that I ordered from ASOS

 By the way, my jelly sandals came in the mail today and I might have had a minor heart attack, no big deal.

I wish I was a punk rocker

In the fourth grade, I refused to wear anything that wasn't black; partly because I wanted to be a boy and I thought that was the appropriate way to achieve it, but mostly because I thought it made me look older and cooler. I haven't changed much since. I am still a small white girl, and I still wear black to try to look dangerous, even though I am probably the least threatening thing in the world besides Winnie the Pooh. The closest thing I will ever get to being badass is putting on some circle sunglasses and dirty sneakers and glaring into a camera lens, so I take what I can get. How else am I supposed to express my teen-angstiness to the world??!?! ugh adults ugh rules ugh soCIETY!??!?!

Urban Outfitters tank and sunglasses, Amercian Apparel lace shorts and black socks, white Converse All Stars, Brandy Melville necklace, and a makeshift choker I made from an old shoelace

curse the infamous california weather!

I took advantage of these last days before the blazing hot SoCal sun sets in to rock a sweater while not drowning in my own sweat. As happy as I am that summer is coming, it also means incredibly hot weather, which means no layering! Gone will be the days where I could wear a sweater over a dress, tights and a bulky army jacket and still be appropriately clothed. How am I supposed to be super stylish if all I can wear outside without melting are booty shorts and tank tops? However, despite the struggles that ever-perfect Cali weather may pose, I refuse to don the ubiquitous Brandy Melville graphic tees that seem to be the staple of every teen girl around LA. I vow to maintain a certain standard of originality when dressing myself this summer, even whilst combatting the scorching heat.

This isn't actually my outfit, although I wish it was, so i can't say where I got it from. All I know is that the sweater and skirt are from a boutique in Japan.

those days

Hannah Montana (or should I say Miley Cyrus?) had it right when she sang that "everybody has those days". And although I am guilty of making fun of her cheesy lyrics and god-awful fashion sense (the early 2000's weren't a good time for anybody), she definitely has a point. No matter how old or happy you are, bad days happen. They're unavoidable. Sometimes you have a reason to be upset, like when you got a bad grade on a test or your girlfriend just broke up with you; but sometimes bad days just pop out of nowhere and for no apparent reason. Sometimes wallowing in your misery is the best remedy, and sometimes all you need is a little musical pick-me-up. This playlist is for both of those moments.

http://8tracks.com/akacatalina/be-a-little-sad 

Also, I would just like to apologize for just being all around stupid when it comes to technology. What's a link? What is HTML? embed??? What does that even mean???

urban decay

As much as I hate to admit that I've fallen under the category of "teen fashion blogger" I guess I'll have to accept it. Hopefully, my sense of style brings something new to the fashion blogging community rather than just adding to the array of grunge/indie/hipster/kawaii blogs that seem to dominate the internet lately.

In my first post, I talked about a decaying yet beautiful suburbia, and I think this outfit complements the post quite nicely. The schoolgirl-like outfit contrasted with the grimy background shows the slow deterioration of a once-great community.

I'm wearing a thrifted pleated tennis skirt and top, platform shoes from Urban Outfitters, socks from American Apparel, my school's cardigan

summer moodz

Maybe I've watched The Virgin Suicides too many times or I've seen too many psychological thrillers, but I've become strangely obsessed with the idea of a seemingly peaceful and aesthetically pleasing suburbia that pretends to be society's idea of perfect normality... when really there is no such thing. In public, kids prepare for college, honest men play golf in the park, and women dutifully wait for their husbands to come home from work; but behind closed doors, couples fight, teenagers take up smoking, and corrupted money exchanges hands. Fake smiles are eternally plastered on the pale faces of young housewives even as they become increasingly unhappy, limited by the burdens of strict moral codes and the judging eyes of gossipy neighborhood women. The kids who once promised themselves they would never be like their parents end up becoming replicas of them, and those who refuse to conform are exiled. Perfect appearances come with nasty thoughts and extreme manifestations of inner anger and repression, which lead to the downfall of the city.
The decay of a once beautiful place is just as interesting to me as a society in it's prime. Memories accumulate at the same speed as the dirt and graffiti that slowly envelop once-clean walls.
This song represents the eeriness  that I'm fascinated by.
"Your daddy's rich and your mama's good lookin"